


finally safe (for me to fall)

by ladybonehollows



Category: The Tarot Sequence - K.D. Edwards
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Brand Saint John's Canonically Huge Dick, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Polyamory, Post-The Hanged Man, Smut, supportive boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybonehollows/pseuds/ladybonehollows
Summary: "We are a people that share our love."For the first time, Rune feels safe enough to explore the boundaries of sexual intimacy, but he can't let go of what Addam said about the bond he shares with Brand.Post-The Hanged Man
Relationships: Rune Saint John/Addam Saint Nicholas, Rune Saint John/Brandon Saint John, Rune Saint John/Brandon Saint John/Addam Saint Nicholas
Comments: 31
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta Sam, and for Jenny for having a sensitivity read of this for me.
> 
> This first chapter is a continuation of Rune and Addam's last scene in The Hanged Man (Rune/Brand will come into it in the next chapter), and the first italicised words are taken directly from the book to intro this scene.
> 
> CW: this chapter deals with Rune battling his own limits due to his sexual assault, but not explicitly, and the tone is overall positive and healing. The theme of the following chapters will be Rune's relationship with Brand and his growing comfort with sex, so while the assault will be relevant to Rune's mindset during sex scenes, it's going to stick to that theme of healing, but I'll warn you if anything heavier comes up.

_"I love you, Addam," I said, and then kissed his smile before he could answer back._

“I love you, too,” he murmured when I pulled away, his breath against my lips. I opened my eyes and found him smiling, and the smile only widened when I flattened my hand more firmly against his stomach. “Your hand is warm.”

Slowly, I smoothed my hand up his body until my fingers brushed the hollow of his throat, and then drifted sideways and down to his chest. Addam made a low sound of encouragement when I rolled my thumb over his nipple. His body was responsive, his muscles fluttering as I traced a meandering pattern down his stomach and then curved my fingers around his hip. His legs shifted slightly, and I watched his arousal stir beneath the thin sheet that barely covered his lap. “You said you wanted me to touch you,” I said slowly.

“And I meant it. Whatever you want, Rune. You’re in control.”

I wanted…

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted to be able to handle this.

In… in a minute.

My heart in my throat, I curled my fingers to brush my knuckles down the curve of Addam’s hip, watching his reactions as I touched the soft skin of his asscheek. His breathing was still even — too even, like he was focusing on every breath. For himself, or for me?

I traced through the pale hair on the outside of his thighs. Hooking my hand underneath his knee, I lifted it between us. I bent my head to kiss his knee and tried to ignore the way that the sheet had shifted across his lap. Raising my other hand to the inside of his thigh again, I rubbed soft circles into his skin.

We could leave it at this. I could explore the exposed parts of him further, maybe kiss him some more. I could shuffle closer to him — between the sheet and my boxers, there wouldn’t be much between us, and his bare chest against mine would feel wonderful. I knew I could handle that. I could stop, and I knew that Addam wouldn’t be disappointed.

Slowly, I pushed Addam’s leg back down onto the bed, with both hands on his thigh. A quick glance up showed me a relaxed face and a small, pleased smile. I kept my eyes firmly on the curve of his mouth as I reached up and pulled the sheet away.

Addam licked his lips. I dropped my eyes to his lap.

His cock was hard and gently curved up against his stomach, his dark blond pubic hair neatly trimmed. The muscles in his thighs were relaxed but pleasantly defined, his body lithe and tan. Even the parts regularly covered by clothes. I knew that he didn't use sigils to alter his appearance, and I was briefly distracted by the image of him sunbathing nude on the roof of his building.

Very briefly. There was just… so much bare  _ skin _ in front of me  _ right now _ …

And Addam didn't seem self conscious in the slightest. I glanced up at his face, nervous at staring so blatantly despite the fact that he couldn't see me. Despite the fact that he had asked me to. He was smiling gently, like there was nowhere else in the world that he'd rather be than in my bed, letting me take my fill of him.

There was a lump in my throat as I dropped my eyes again. I…  _ wanted. _

An awareness that wasn't my own pressed at the edge of my conscious. Surprise was quickly followed by concern, and then there was a flicker of curiosity before a heavy steel wall came down between us.

There was something in that curiosity that pulled me after it, but I turned my attention away from Brand and toward the naked man stretched out before me.

My heart pounding in my chest, I reached out to take a hold of him, and —

— dropped my hand onto his hip.

_ Deep breath in _ .

Before I could second guess myself again (and again and again), I lifted my hand and settled it gently over the length of his cock.

My breath was trapped in my throat, but Addam's left him in a quiet sigh.

Slowly, I curled my fingers around him, keeping my grip loose as I lifted him up from against his stomach. He was warm and smooth under my touch as I stroked him gently from base to tip, getting used to the weight of him, and his hips shifted against the bed as I moved back down again.

"Does it feel good?" Addam murmured.

I tried to laugh, but my mouth was too dry. "Aren't I supposed to ask you that?"

"I think you can tell that I'm enjoying this," he said, as his cock twitched under my fingers. "Yes, I am enjoying this very much. But this isn't about me."

He was wrong, though. This might have been about me, but it was also about him and me, and very much about him. I stroked him again, and again, working over him slowly, drinking in every tensing of his stomach muscles, every rise and fall of his chest. I made myself focus on what I was feeling. I couldn't ignore the steady thrum of apprehension that tinged the thrill of arousal, but instead of being all-consuming, it was just a low simmer in the background. "Yeah," I breathed, without taking my eyes off him. "It feels good."

Humming in satisfaction, Addam leaned his head back against the headboard, and I glanced up to see a smile playing around his lips that bordered on smug. He was genuinely enjoying every part of this, I realised. Not just the way I was touching him, but the way I was using him however I wanted.

I couldn't even comprehend it.

I was turned on by him, by touching him, by the way he was giving himself so freely to me. But no matter how hard I was, how hot and exhilarated I felt… no matter how much I trusted the person I was with, I didn't think I'd be able to let myself go like he was with me right now.

To be blindfolded and completely at the mercy of another person wasn't something I thought I'd ever be able to enjoy. To have someone give me that power felt…

Like it could very easily become too much.

Addam's next exhale was almost a moan, and it steadied me. He wanted this. He wanted me.

“What are you thinking about?”

I didn't know how to put it into words in a way that made sense, or wouldn't make him think I wanted to stop. I was mostly sure that I didn't want to stop. "I… I don’t want to talk about that," I said, and hoped that it was all right. "Right now.”

“Okay," he said easily. "Can I tell you what I’m thinking about?”

It took me a moment to remember he couldn't see my nod. I cleared my throat. "Please."

He paused, as though gathering his thoughts, and I took the opportunity to explore him further, sliding my hand lower to cup his balls. Addam made a long, low sound in the back of his throat as I rolled them with my fingers. He sighed as I pulled at them gently before sliding my hand back up to wrap around his dick once more. Watching his face carefully for cues, I tightened my grip a little, stroking him with more purpose than before, and felt a rush at the way his lips parted and then closed, his hand shifting on the sheet beside us as he took a moment to find his words.

"I'm thinking about how good your hands feel on me," he managed eventually. "Everywhere you touch me feels like my skin is burning. I hope you're enjoying this, because I could quite happily do this all day." The corner of his mouth quirked in a grin. "I'm probably not going to last all day."

As he spoke, I felt a hint of wetness against my fingers as they reached the head of his dick. My blood ran hot, and I grinned back at him, nevermind that he couldn't see it. "Good," I said. I squeezed him gently, and was rewarded with a moan.

"I think about your hands on me," Addam said, like a confession. "When I'm alone. I hope that's okay."

_ Fuck _ . "That you think about me?" My voice was thick and strained. My mind was full of him stretched out amongst tangled sheets, his own hand in the place of my own,  _ imagining  _ that it was me. "I don't mind." I paused. Took a deep breath. "I think about you too."

Addam's breath hitched. “Really?”

My relationship with sexual intimacy was complicated, and that included intimacy with myself. But that didn't mean that I didn't want it, or didn't do it, and when the mood arose, I thought about what I could do if I was a different person, if I was comfortable enough, if I was brave enough.

I had an endless amount of fantasies involving Addam and the things we could do together.

"Really," I said, tightening my grip on Addam's dick and moving my hand faster. His head hit the headboard with a quiet thump and he let out a groan. I stared at the long line of his neck, the way the tendons stood out when he tensed. “Can I —"

“Yes. Rune. Yes.”

He didn't wait, so neither did I. Leaning forward, I pressed my mouth to the side of his neck. The low sound that came from the back of his throat rocked through me, and before I could think about it, my tongue was on his skin, freshly shaven and tasting of clean sweat. I squeezed my eyes shut, every part of me tuning in to the way his breath felt against my shoulder, the way his muscles flexed beneath me.

But he didn't move to touch me, no matter how restless he became.

I knew how much it meant that he was giving himself up to me so freely, for me to explore completely without expectation. But I wanted…

I wanted more than I could take.

But I could take a little. I  _ could. _

Before I could turn it into something that I couldn't handle, I crawled up to straddle him. Addam went very still as I settled my weight on his thighs, leaving enough space between us that I could continue to jerk him off without the risk of brushing my own hand against myself through my boxers while I did so. Letting him go, I leaned forward to grab both of his wrists, untwisting the fingers of his left hand from the bottom sheet. I settled them on my thighs, one warm and one cool. I waited a few seconds for the panic to rise, but although it did swell a little as Addam's fingertips brushed against the hairs of my legs, the intensity of it started to lessen almost immediately.  _ This is Addam. I'm safe with Addam. _ Both of us were barely breathing. "Keep them there."

"Of course."

I kept my hands over his for a few seconds, watching his face carefully. His lips were slightly parted, his cheeks a little flushed. His left hand flexed on my thigh before stilling completely. “I’m sorry.”

I squeezed his hand, and held tight while I reached up to cup his cheek with my other hand. “It’s okay. This is good.” I leaned in, brushing my lips against his. He gasped quietly, and I swallowed the sound, kissing him harder until he started kissing me back. “This is good.”

“Yes,” he said, and moaned when I wrapped my hand around his cock once more.

As I started stroking him faster, I slid my other hand from his cheek around to the back of his head, my fingers tangling in his hair. His lips slackened against mine, and I softened the kiss to a sweet brush of our lips together. Addam was panting now, soft noises falling from him with every few breaths, each one strengthening something inside me. I was so incredibly turned on, and I felt  _ safe _ . I felt wanted and powerful and  _ safe _ . “Thank you,” I said, pressing the words against his mouth. His answering laugh dissolved into a groan when I paused to roll my thumb over the head of his cock.

His hand squeezed my leg once more, and when I didn’t ask him to stop, squeezed again, but he kept both hands where they were. I let myself imagine, just for a moment, what it would be like to let them wander freely, how it might feel for him to touch me too. He would, if I asked him. He’d done it before. Maybe I could handle it.

But maybe this was enough, for now.

This was so much more than enough.

Addam wasn’t the type of person to rein in his pleasure, and I lost myself in the way his moans shivered through me as they started to get louder. When a sound caught in his throat and his whole body tensed, I pulled back quickly, my eyes darting over his face. I didn’t want to miss a thing. His teeth pressed grooves into his lower lip for a moment before his mouth fell open. I looked lower, my breath leaving me in a rush at the sight of his stomach tensing, at the…  _ fuck, _ at how hard and flushed his dick was, precum pooling at the tip and then smearing along his length under my touch.

Adam came with my name falling from his lips, his hips jerking up into my hand, his head tossed back against the headboard. I dragged my eyes up his body in time to drink in the sight of his face tensing and then falling slack as my hand on him stilled. I stared at him, trying to swallow around the lump in my throat, my mind and body buzzing with want and satisfaction and  _ Addam _ . He lay boneless against the headboard, a lazy smile on his face.

_ I did that. _

I leaned again to kiss him again, smiling at the soft, happy sound that Addam made against my lips. Without moving back, I pulled his blindfold off, dropping it onto the bed beside us. Addam didn’t pull back either, and I let the easy and undemanding familiarity of his mouth on mine hold me steady.

But a part of me didn’t want steady. It wanted to push past my own boundaries, wanted to deepen the kiss and pull Addam closer, to give in to the urgent need of my own body and give him everything I could. It would be okay, I could handle it, I could handle anything, I —

“Can I move my hands now?” Addam asked.

My body stilled. I wanted to, I wanted it  _ so badly _ , and the ache I felt for him was more intense than it had ever been. I swallowed hard against the sudden traitorous tightness in my throat. “Okay,” I said, because I wanted to be the type of person who  _ could _ say yes, and only barely heard a tremble in my voice.

But I couldn’t help the way my breath left me in a shudder of relief when Addam’s hands slid up my sides instead, one arm wrapping around my shoulders and his left hand cupping my cheek. He leaned back, and the moment I could see his face, and he could see mine, I felt spread open for him, like he could see every vulnerable part of me. There wasn’t a hint of regret in his eyes, or disappointment, or anything else clouding the obvious satisfaction on his face.

“I enjoyed that very much, Hero. I think you did too,” he said warmly, without any move to touch me, even though he must be aware of the erection straining against my underwear. “And I think I’d like a shower now.” He kissed me again, brief and sure. “You’re welcome to join me. Or not, as you wish.”

Addam saw straight through me, and wouldn’t let me push for more than I could handle. He would take anything that I would offer him, but only the parts that I offered freely. I thought back to what he’d said before, about the type of love we could have.

There were very few people I trusted myself to be vulnerable with. I could count them on one finger.

But I felt like I’d taken back a part of myself today.

I felt brave. “Next time,” I said, and meant it.

He smiled at me widely, and I knew he meant that too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, again, to Sam for the beta work on this. Nothing is better than a beta who is honest about when things aren't working.
> 
> This chapter picks up directly from the final scene of The Hanged Man

I don’t know how long the two of us sat there, watching the waves lap against the shore, the night making the water appear black. It was easy to lose myself in the repetitive crash of the waves, the faint sounds of the party behind us, the familiar steadiness of Brand by my side. I knew that the future loomed large and scary before us, but in that moment, there were very few things that I wanted for.

I wondered how the party inside was going. Addam was no stranger to an Arcanum party, and I knew this would be on the quieter side of what he was used to, but I hoped he was having a good time anyway. I very much liked the idea of sharing this with him. And with Quinn, and Max, and the Dawncreeks. My court, if they wanted it. My family.

I hadn't intended to gather them all to me like this, but it felt  _ right _ .

Just like it had felt so right with Addam this morning. He’d come back to bed after showering, and the two of us had spent another few hours dozing in each others' arms, enjoying the warmth of a shared bed with none of the pressure I might have expected. Pressure from myself — I knew Addam didn’t expect more than I was willing to give. I was finally starting to believe it, and that trust felt freeing in a way I didn't realise I'd been lacking.

_ I know that I have a place, and I am happy with that. _

I didn't kid myself that this was any grand sacrifice on his behalf; that's just the way he was, the way he shared his love. Honestly, I was pretty sure that I was the lucky one, to have a place in Addam's generous heart.

"You're happy," Brand said, and I glanced at him in surprise. He arched an eyebrow at me, challenging me to deny it.

I thought about how easily he'd shrugged off the chance to learn more about the family that he was born to. The thought of him leaving me behind had never even crossed my mind. It was me and Brand against the world. Me and Brand, and Addam. And Max and Quinn and Anna and —

"Shut up," I said, angling my leg out awkwardly to kick him in the thigh. " _ You're  _ happy."

Brand snorted quietly at my childish retort, but he didn't deny it either.

And it wasn't my fault if that only made me happier.

I could have stayed out here all night, but eventually I forced my legs to move. 

"We should probably go and save Max," I said, pushing myself to my feet. "Bets as to whether he's reached the freak out stage of his first hosting gig yet?"

"I caught him trying to sneak a beer before I came out here. Most likely he started drinking as soon as I turned my back."

"He's terrified of you," I reminded him.

"Yeah," Brand said with no little enjoyment, "and he's a teenager. He's two or three beers down by now." He shook his head with the hint of a smile, and I could tell he was looking forward to flexing his dad duties. It wouldn't take more than a scowl to have Max pouring whatever remained of his beer down the drain and pretending that it wasn't his to start with.

Ah, parenthood.

The fact that that was something I had to think about — me and Brand _ , parents _ — was never not going to be weird.

Brand's smirk quickly disappeared. "I still can't believe you made me sit in the fucking sand," he muttered, scowling up at me as I stood above him.

“Okay, old man Brand,” I scoffed, holding out my hand to help him up. Not that he needed it — he was the fittest person I knew. He probably called jumping to his feet from a sitting position as quickly as he could over and over again a fun time. Still, he took my offered hand, his fingers circling my wrist in a firm grip.

And because I was thinking about how fit and strong he was, I worried briefly over whether I'd be able to pull him up, which of course led me to overcompensate. Brand rose easily to his feet, but I stumbled back half a step and he stepped after me, reaching out automatically to grasp my shoulder and steady us both.

He was so close I could feel his breath on my cheeks. He shifted his weight as though to step back, and my fingers tightened around his wrist before I realised they were moving, keeping him by me with an instinct that rose too quickly to name.

His face was mostly hidden by the night, the light from the party behind him casting his face in shadow. But it didn't matter. I'd know the arch of his brow in my sleep. The hard line of his jaw, the bright blue of his eyes, the curve of his lips…

The curve of his lips…

_ Oh. Huh. _

"What," Brand said, instantly tense and alert. "You're sad. What is it?"

That couldn't be the only thing he was getting from me, but maybe that was easier to deal with than my stunned confusion. Maybe he was just ignoring what he didn't want to see. But it was fine, I just had to say something casual and normal and dismissive to make everything —

"The last time I tried to kiss you, you pushed me into a pool."

Brand sucked his breath in sharply.

I don't know where it came from: the urge to kiss him, to put my mouth on his mouth, to feel his hard body against mine. It was a feeling that I wasn't unfamiliar with, but I'd always put it down to the fact that I was never oblivious to the fact that he was a very attractive man. But now, coupled with the relief that he wasn't going to leave me for whoever was in that folder, it felt like a compulsion too strong to ignore.

Addam's words were in the forefront of my mind without warning, his voice loud and clear.  _ For instance, I know that I will never be the love of your life. What you share with Brand? I could spend a lifetime chasing it, and it will always be decades out of my reach. _

Brand pulled back a little, because of course he did. Because it wasn't  _ like that _ for us. Because I was a fucking idiot for feeling safe and wanted and desirable and wanting to chase that feeling more than I should.

"Rune…" he said, his voice trailing off into uncertainty.

I was silent. I didn't know how to make it not awkward. I couldn't take back what I'd said, and if I didn't handle this right then everything could change.

Everything could change, and suddenly I was terrified.

What I shared with Brand was the most important thing in my life, and I knew it was the same for him, I  _ knew _ it, but this — I'd rarely felt panic like this, and it clawed its way up my throat.

"Hey," Brand said sharply. "No, whatever you're thinking, stop it. Rune."

I couldn't brush it off as nothing, not believably, not with him so attuned to what was going on in my head. I looked away. "Just forget I said anything," I said, and wished my voice didn't come out so strained. "I didn't say anything. It's not something I even think about, so just… nope." I tried to pull away, to put some space between us, but Brand's hand on my wrist turned to iron.

He sighed. "The last time you kissed me, I didn't know how to deal with it. And… fuck. I didn't want you to think that I was all that was out there."

_ Wait, what? _

I lifted my gaze to stare at him. "That was  _ over twenty years ago. _ I  _ know _ there are other guys out there. I've always known that. _ " _

Brand met my eye evenly. "Yeah, and then…"

He didn't need to say it. I hadn't been in the right place for physical intimacy.

I was still trying to figure that part out now.

I'd never considered Brand as a realistic option, because I'd never thought he was interested like that. "Are you telling me that..." I started, and faltered when it was Brand's turn to look away.  _ Oh shit. _ "All this time…?"

Brand's jaw tightened, and I could feel his discomfort, muffled though it was. The link between us made it easier, but I'd have known his tells without them. That link had been there for as long as I could remember, and I'd never felt a hint of  _ this specific _ type of affection from him. Had I? I was reading too much into this, right? It definitely didn't mean what I thought it meant.

And the tightening in my chest didn't mean anything either.

"It's not like I've been pining away for you this whole time," he said, almost defensively. "What we have is enough."

_ Oh my fucking god.  _ This was a real thing that was happening. "But you'd want to." I stared at him, barely able to comprehend what this could mean. Was the only reason why something more hadn't happened between us because he'd held himself back to protect me, and I'd thought he wasn't interested? 

He was right. I hadn't been pining for him, either. The relationship we had was already stronger and more important to me than anything we could find in a romantic bond. But faced with the potential that this could be something he wanted, the longing for what else we could have came crashing down on me.

_ Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. _

"You're happy," Brand said, and his eyes were still hovering somewhere near my shoulder, but he didn't sound jealous, or defeatist. It was a statement of fact. "With Addam."

"Yeah," I said softly. And I was. I really, really was. I hadn't realised how much until today. I was realising a lot of things, including: "And with you."

Brand finally met my eyes again, and they were so guarded that my heart  _ hurt. _ And for the first time, I realised just what this would be like for him, if he felt the way I was only just starting to comprehend that he did. So I did the only thing I could.

Ignoring the nerves that sprang up just at the thought of it, I threw myself open to him completely. I could barely make sense of the mess of feelings rolling through me, but I could show him the longing, and wistfulness, and disbelief. And love.

A love that I'd never thought to put a name to. There'd never been the need.

We'd always been more than friends. We'd always been more than brothers. Brand was right — what we had now could be enough. But Addam was right too. Brand was the love of my life, and it wasn't until it was pointed out to me so casually that I really bothered to think about what that meant.

What  _ did _ it mean that I immediately felt lighter when Brand walked into the room? That I never felt as safe as when he was by my side? That we knew each other better than we knew ourselves, and I  _ liked it that way _ . That everytime I woke up to Brand's familiar weight curling around me in bed, I knew that it was going to be a good day? That nothing made me happier than seeing his rare, genuine smile?

Of course I loved him. How could I not?

And the next thing I knew, Brand's face was inches from mine. One hand was still tight around my wrist, and the other pressed underneath my jaw to tilt my head back, a touch so light that I could have pulled away easily. I couldn't remember him ever touching me so tenderly. 

Brand's eyes flickered between mine, and I barely heard his sharp inhale before he closed the distance between us and kissed me.

Soft. His lips were chapped but it was still so  _ soft. _

I kept my eyes closed when Brand leaned back. His hand dropped from my face, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "I've got your back no matter what," he said, and something tightened in my chest to hear his voice a little unsteady. He paused, and when he continued, it was stronger. The same strength that he was always giving me. "I'm with you, no matter what. If this is what you want,  _ I am here, _ " he said, enunciating each word with purpose, and my heart did a confusing flip in my chest. "But you should talk to Addam."

Brand finally let go of my hand, and I opened my eyes as he took a step back. There was no heat to his words, no judgement in his eyes. Addam had always been open about the fact that he was a share the love kind of guy, and having multiple partners was as normal as monogamy to Atlanteans.

Yeah, I needed to talk to Addam. But I had a feeling that he would be less surprised than I felt right now.

"Something Addam said is why I… I thought…"

"Talk to Addam."

Again, he was firm, but not unkind. But the bond between us was a wall as tight as steel, and all I wanted was to know what Brand was thinking. I didn't even know what I was thinking.

Brand took a few steps backwards, before he turned and started back toward the party. My insides were a mess of confusion as I watched him go.

* * *

The party was still in full swing when I walked back inside. I couldn’t remember the last time the suite had been so full of people. My body thrummed with an energy that I had no outlet for. I glanced at the clock on the wall — how was it already ten o’clock? Brand and I had been outside longer than I’d thought.

Brand. I found him instantly. He was already on the other side of the room, facing down a contrite-looking Quinn and a Max who was swaying on his feet. Max looked a little green. Brand didn’t turn to look at me when I entered the room, but I had no doubt that he knew exactly where I was.

I had to talk to him. I needed to think. I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend the last half hour hadn’t happened.

I wanted to kiss him again.

Instead, I acquired a drink, and hovered on the sidelines of the party for approximately 0.5 seconds before someone caught sight of me and I was dragged into conversation with a bunch of scions. I pushed it all aside, forcing an interested smile. Small talk with people I barely knew was a skill that I'd had no choice but to learn. I could do this. This was easy.

It took me a full ten seconds of silence for me to realise that the scion to my left had said something to me, and I had no idea what it was. I fumbled through an apology and was grateful for the lack of contempt in her eyes when she repeated her question.

Addam was on the other side of the room one second, seemingly fully engrossed in conversation, and in the next he was by my side, a hand gentle but firm between my shoulderblades. The conversation in the group of people I stood with — I belatedly realised that they were members of Lady Death’s court, or at least affiliated with her in some way — turned its focus away from me, and so I didn’t feel guilty for turning my attention to Addam. He smiled at me fondly, but his tone was serious when he bent his head to my ear. "What is it?" he said, the words brushing my skin.

How did he know me so well? It may be that my smile wasn't as sure as I'd thought, but no one else seemed to think anything was amiss. Was something amiss? I didn't even know anymore. I certainly wasn't going to talk to him about it here. "Nothing. It's okay."

Addam's hand pressed a little more firmly for one second, two, and then it eased. He wasn’t fooled, but he wasn’t going to push it either, and his steady presence was an offer of comfort and strength.

Fuck. How did I deserve the people I had in my life?

A quick press of lips against my temple, and then Addam turned to include us again in the nearby group, his shoulder a gentle pressure against mine.

I wasn't looking for him. I wasn't, but I couldn’t help but be aware of where Brand was in the room. Ushering the boys upstairs. Doing a lap of the room. Talking quietly with the staff. I wanted to pull him aside and remind him that this was his party too, that he should be able to relax and enjoy it, despite the fact that he would just roll his eyes at me and walk off to scope out the windows again.

I stayed where I was.

I let myself be drawn into the conversation, because I was a sitting Arcana now, and I had  _ guests _ to entertain. I smiled and laughed and told a charming story about a job that Brand and I had done a few years back that just happened to show off how good we were at what we did. I could play this part in my sleep.

And all the while, in the back of my head, ran an endless chorus of  _ what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck — _

After an hour or so, I began to notice as Addam steered the conversation in a way that had my guests saying their goodnights without seeming to realise that they'd been led to that point. I held back from staring at him in surprise. If I was good at this, then he was an expert. I didn't call him out on it, but I smiled a genuine smile when he winked at me over his shoulder while he saw a couple out.

Eventually the room was empty except for myself, Addam, Brand, and the staff, who made quick work of piling up the remainder of the serving platters and filing out the room. I collapsed on the closest couch and rubbed at my eyes. "Who thought it was a good idea to be the type of people who have parties?" I grumbled.

"You did, when you decided to set yourself on fire and join the Arcanum club," Brand said. I could hear him moving around the room, probably checking the locks on the doors and the windows. I kept my eyes closed. "I'm going to check on those children we for some stupid reason decided to be responsible for. See you in the morning."

_ You just wish you were cool enough to be in the club. _

_ Hey, you said the whole fire thing was  _ impressive _. _

_ Have fun with the dad duties. Dad. _

I felt uneasy, on edge, and it only made me more unsettled that I didn’t know how to joke with him right now. That was practically  _ all we did _ , but each retort died on my lips, and I said nothing while his footsteps grew fainter as he disappeared down the hall toward Max's room, where he and Quinn were sleeping.  _ This is great. Just great. Look at how you’ve fucked everything up. _

I was well aware that he wasn’t being weird about anything right now, which only made it feel more  _ weird _ for me.

There was a soft sound of shoes against the carpet, and I opened my eyes to see Addam in front of me, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table opposite my chair instead of taking the seat beside me. Our knees knocked together. He looked as calm as he ever did. “Did you want company tonight, or should I find my way to my own rooms?”

His voice was free of judgement or demand. It wasn’t just the surprise of such an easy offer of privacy that took me aback, especially after the morning we’d had together. I’d expected him to hound me for details the moment we’d been alone.

No, that wasn’t right. I’d been prepared to be hounded, but when I actually thought about it, I didn’t expect that from Addam at all. Brand would have been on me as soon as the last guest had left, and I wouldn’t have even waited that long. 

He was so different from me. And from Brand. But that difference didn’t make either of them less, they just  _ were _ . They were so perfectly themselves, and I wouldn’t change a thing about either of them.

"I… huh." I paused. Shook my head. Brand, or someone else staying in the Sun suite, could come by at any minute. The last thing I needed was Max overhearing this conversation. But the admission was ready on my tongue, and I had to let myself ride the decision to talk about it before it became a thing that was  _ never _ talked about. I didn’t even recall making the decision — I just knew that I had to talk to Addam about… whatever this was, before it burned up inside me.

Grabbing Addam’s hand, I stood and pulled him to his feet. Wordlessly, I dragged him along with me toward my bedroom, distractedly remembering to turn lights off as I went and only realising afterward that yeah, okay, I guess I did want Addam to stay. If he still wanted to after I let everything spill out.

Pulling him into my room, I flicked on the light switch and let go of his hand to close the door, giving myself the time it took to take a deep breath before I forced myself to turn and face him.

My heart was pounding in my chest, but Addam was smiling at me fondly. Apparently he’d decided that whatever was bothering me wasn’t life or death. He wouldn’t be upset with me, right? Brand had kissed  _ me _ , after all. Brand had —

Fuck, he’d kissed me.

_ Focus. _

"I need to tell you something," I said.  _ He’s probably not even going to be surprised. Remember what he said this morning?  _ I just had to make sure to approach this the right way.

"Who are we at war with now?"

"Brand's mouth."

Yeah. The right way.  _ Shit. _

Addam's eyebrows shot up. "His mouth?"

"He kissed me."

"I see."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

He seemed genuinely curious, and that threw me more than anything else. I blinked. "Because…"  _ Because I should have talked to you about it first. Because I didn't think it would be a thing that mattered, and now I feel like I've lied to you. Because I don't want you to feel like this changes anything with us. _ But Addam was smiling. He looked  _ amused.  _ At  _ me.  _ "You're not surprised."

"Surprised? I am, in fact. Surprised that it didn't take you longer to figure it out." He glanced over his shoulder into the room. “Can we continue this conversation somewhere more comfortable than your doorway?”

I stared at him. “What?”

Laughing quietly, Addam stepped forward to take my hand, pressing his lips gently against my cheek before leading me further into the bedroom. “Come, Hero. Let us get comfortable, and maybe we can ease your mind.”

He tugged me gently toward the bed, and then dropped my hand so that he could sit on the edge of the mattress and remove his shoes. Pulling the top few buttons of his shirt free, he pushed himself back on the bed until he sat propped up against the headboard, just like he had this morning. He wore slightly more clothes than he had earlier, and his hair was tied back instead of loose and lazy around his shoulders, but he looked just as relaxed and at ease as he had with nothing but the sheet covering his lap. My heart sang just as strongly to see him here as it had then, smiling and inviting and happy.

I felt self-conscious as I kicked off my own shoes with far less grace, and settled on the foot of the bed, my legs tucked up in front of me. Addam eyed the distance I'd left between us and sighed. "What part of this is bothering you?"

And just like that, I dissolved into confusion, into apprehension, into… something overwhelming. I looked down at my hands and, when I found them twisting in my lap, forced them flat against my thighs. "The me and you version or the me and Brand version?" My mouth twisted at the thought that that was even a thing. "You probably don't want to hear about me kissing someone else."

I heard Addam shift, and glanced up to see his hand falling back into his lap. A part of me was grateful that he hadn't reached out, but a large part of me wished that he had. His eyes were serious. "I think you should let me decide what I'm comfortable talking about. I would like to talk about this with you." The corner of his mouth lifted a little, but his eyes remained too concerned for it to be a convincing smile. "I'd thought that this would make you happy, but you seem upset."

"Upset?" Upset wasn't the right word. Untethered, maybe. Vulnerable in a way that I hadn't felt for a long time. Uncertain. "You're aware this changes everything, right? Or it could, if everything falls to shit. He's my  _ Companion.  _ What if —"

"Do you love him?"

I stared at him wordlessly. A few hours ago, I would have answered him easily, but the question held a lot more weight now. Of course I loved him. I'd loved him for as long as I could remember.

But maybe that meant something different than I'd let myself believe.

When I didn't say anything, Addam held his hand out toward me, and I only hesitated a moment before slipping mine inside it. "This thing that you share with Brand is very rare, Hero. A Companion is raised to be more than a protector, but what Brand is to you has always gone well beyond that. When I first met him, I admit that I thought him a rival for your affections. I quickly grew to learn that rival was not the correct word, but I've always known that you are his most precious thing, and he yours."

I felt stretched open and exposed to admit it was true, but my bond with Brand had never felt like a weakness. No, it wasn't the reality of how we needed each other that bothered me, but the fact that I hadn't expected  _ this.  _ "I would know," I said. "If he liked me like that." Gods, I felt like a fucking child. "If he wanted me like that. I would have felt it."

"Are you sure you didn't feel it? Because it was always clear to see, if you know how to look."

I dropped my eyes to our joined hands, and watched as he ran his thumb across my knuckles. I thought about the bond I shared with Brand, and the things that I felt through it. It was quiet now, and I knew he was giving me space. When I thought about it, I couldn't recall an overwhelming swell of love, or a longing that would choke me.

But it was always there. Fondness, affection, a desire for closeness. A bone-deep acknowledgement that we made each other stronger,  _ happier _ when we were together.

That wasn't love. Not capital L Love. Was it?

_ Shit. _

Because with that realisation came a fear that threatened to swallow me up. It wasn't until Addam's hand squeezed mine that I noticed I'd tightened mine uncomfortably tight around his. I loosened my grip, but couldn't quite manage an apologetic smile. "If this is something I want to happen... Me and Brand, I mean…" I trailed off, unable to put words to something I didn't want to face. Addam remained quiet, giving me time, so I made myself find the courage. "I don't want anything between you and me to change," I said, forcing the words out in a rush.

And was surprised when Addam immediately relaxed. "That makes me very happy, Hero. Why should anything have to change?"

My heart in my throat, I let go of Addam's hand so I could crawl up the bed and sit beside him, making a mess of the covers beneath us in the process. I twisted so I still faced him, and didn't stop Addam when he pulled one of my legs over his and settled his hand on my knee. It wasn't sexual, but it felt intimate in a way that warmed me right through. I watched him carefully, searching for something beyond what he was telling me, and not finding a shred of guile. "I like you a lot," I told him softly.

His smile was quiet but no less sure. "I like you a lot, too."

I smiled back, but it quickly faded. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it earlier. And that I'm talking to you about it now. And that I don't know what's going on in my own head. And that —"

"Rune," Addam said, cutting me off before I could ramble on and on and make a bigger fool of myself. "You don't need to apologise for following your heart. Tell me. Will exploring this with Brand make you happy?"

I was already happy. Happy with Addam, and happy with what I currently had with Brand.

But what if it could be  _ more? _

What if it could be more, and it  _ worked? _

"Yes," I said, and then felt weird for how certain I sounded. "I think so." That felt weirder.  _ Just say what you're thinking, fuck _ . "Yes."

Addam squeezed my leg. "Then I look forward to hearing about it, if you decide to share it with me."

It couldn't be that easy.

I thought about Brand's mouth against mine, something I hadn't dared to let myself want.

It was never going to be anything at all if I didn't reach out and take it.

Maybe I  _ could _ have what I wanted.

The realisation that Addam wasn't going to leave me for wanting this sent a relief through me that surprised me. Knowing that he'd told me, only that morning, that he wasn't concerned to not have the same bond with me that Brand did, wasn't the same as hearing that he was okay with  _ this. _ I put my hand over his, trying to imagine how my life might change, and all of the things that wouldn't really change that much at all.

Addam turned his hand over to wrap around mine, and brought it up to his lips. "You're still thinking very hard."

"About how lucky I am to have you in my life," I said, and meant it. Only then did something else occur to me. "Do you? Want to, I mean. See other people."

It didn't make me feel uncomfortable to think of him with someone else, only that I hadn't thought of the question before.

And maybe, a little, that I had no idea who else might catch Addam's interest.

Addam pressed the back of my hand to his cheek before dropping it back to his lap, without letting go. "I am currently content with the people I have in my life. In my heart. But maybe someday, which is something I feel you must already know. And I wouldn't be averse to sharing a part of myself with Brand, if both you and he were amiable. Which is something that I think  _ he _ already knows."

_ Brand _ knew… Addam was interested in Brand, and  _ Brand knew _ ? My pulse was racing, apprehension and excitement mixing in a heady combination. I didn't know what to do with it. "Everyone knows everything but me, huh?" I said, because it was easier than interpreting my own reaction.

Addam's brow pinched. "I hadn't intended to hide that from you. I'm sorry that I wasn't clearer."

It took me a moment to realise that he wasn't just talking about Brand. "Oh, no, don't do that." I squeezed his hand. "Of course it's something I knew, about the way your heart works. I just hadn't really sat down and thought about it yet. I…" I paused before the admission could fall past my lips, but then sighed. I didn't need to hide from him. "I didn't know whether you would stick around long enough for it to come up," I admitted, unable to meet his eye. "Not when I had to… to keep things slow."

Cool metal touched the underside of my jaw, and I reluctantly lifted my head to meet his eyes again. They were kind, and a little amused. "You think your body is the only thing I enjoy about you?"

"No," I said quickly. Of course not, that wasn't it, not quite. "No, but —"

His fingers flexed slightly against my skin before he pulled his hand away. "I'll never lie to you about what I want. This is what I want. What we have right now, and whatever else it grows into. You are enough, just the way you are."

My throat was tight. I swallowed before I spoke, and even then, my voice crackled with feeling. "And Brand?"

His smile was the most brilliant thing in the room. "Do whatever makes your heart happy, Rune. I'm not going anywhere."

Great, and now my eyes were burning as well. I blinked a few times until my vision cleared, and Addam watched me steadily all the while, his smile never fading. “Thank you,” I said.

“This isn’t something you have to thank me for.”

“I know. Well, now I do. But I mean… for you.” I was suddenly bone-weary, as a good portion of my anxiety slipped away. I knew that as soon as I woke up, my mind would be a panic of  _ what now _ when it came to Brand, but right now, all I wanted to do was feel Addam’s body against mine as I drifted toward sleep. “Will you stay?”

Leaning forward, Addam pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Of course, Hero,” he said, sounding pleased. He was already slipping out from under me, tugging at the remaining buttons of his shirt, and I followed suit before letting him pull me under the covers and into his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beta Sam, who not only makes me a better writer, but also is great at telling the voice in my head to shut up and sit down. 
> 
> CW: this chapter deals with Rune and, to a lesser extent, Brand, working through their past traumas in a sexual situation, but there's no explicit details of their traumas and, as in the first chapter, it's positivity-focused.

Pulling on yesterday’s sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt, I treaded lightly down the staircase, and stopped at the landing of the third floor. It was early in the morning — only barely past ten — and I knew I wouldn’t be missed if I spent some time meditating in the sanctum before I appeared downstairs. My sigils were all stocked, but the defence spell in the mass sigil could always be bolstered more.

It wasn’t like I was avoiding anyone.

Because that would be ridiculous.

And the fact that, after getting back from the Enclave yesterday, I’d spent half the afternoon hiding in the sanctum meant absolutely nothing at all.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Brand. It was just that I had absolutely no idea how to handle… well, any of this. I’d spent the last twenty years trying to avoid any romantic entanglements. If Addam hadn’t been so forward and happy to take the lead in our relationship, then I would have still been very firmly single.

Brand wasn’t Addam. He would push me in pretty much every other aspect of our lives, but he was going to make me take the lead in  _ this _ . I was still trying to wrap my head around the idea that this was something that I was allowed to want, that maybe he wanted it too, and that  _ Addam _ wanted it too. The fact that Brand was acting as though everything was completely normal in the meantime was driving me up the fucking wall, but I was pretty sure that it wasn’t on purpose.

I heard footsteps downstairs. Shaking my head at myself, I turned away from the sanctum and made my way down to the living room.

I didn’t see Max around. Brand had cleared a space in the middle of the living room, and was doing crunches in front of the couch. I’d kept my footsteps quiet so as not to disturb Max if he was still in bed, and he didn’t react as I reached the bottom of the staircase, so I lowered myself quietly to sit on the bottom step.

His dark hair was damp with sweat, which meant that he must have been working out for a while. His shorts left most of his thighs bare, and between his long legs and his loose tank top, there was just so much  _ skin _ .

I knew, logically, that he was not only attractive, but fit as well. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I let myself drink in the sight of him the way I wanted to. The tensing of his stomach muscles, outlined thanks to the way his top clung to the sweat on his skin. The definition of his legs, dusted with dark hair. The way his hands were tucked behind his head made the muscles in his arms bunch.

I watched him for a few minutes. He gave no signs of slowing down. “How long have you known I was sitting here?” I said eventually.

He didn’t even react, which told me that the answer was longer than I thought. “Your stomach growled.” He wasn’t even out of breath.

I couldn’t remember my stomach growling audibly since I’d sat down. And then I remembered that it had made a noise as I’d headed down the stairs.

So, the whole time then.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I tried not to let myself be too impressed. "I feel like pancakes,” I said instead.

"There's perfectly good wholegrain bread there,” he said looking over at me. Without pause, he started to do this twisty thing with each crunch.  _ Show off _ . “For toast. And fruit? You know what a fruit is, right?"

Using the rail of the staircase to pull myself up, I wandered into the kitchen. I shuffled things around in the pantry for a few minutes, but couldn’t find any pancake mix. I wondered if I’d be able to convince Queenie to get me some without Brand finding out.

I was dropping bread into the toaster when I heard footsteps behind me. Turning around, I leaned against the counter and watched Brand as he grabbed a bottle of vitamin water out of the fridge. He downed half the bottle in one go before turning around to look at me.

Whatever words I could have said got caught in my throat.

I took the bottle out of his hands. Capped it. Leaned back to put it on the counter. And then took his face with both my hands and kissed him.

It was just as soft as when he’d kissed me the other night, but just as certain. This was what I wanted, and in that moment I was more sure of it than I’d been of anything in my life.  _ Brand _ , I thought, and felt the same longing and surprise and affection echo through me that I’d felt on the beach.

Brand went very still, but he didn’t pull away. He didn’t kiss me back, either, so I pulled away, dropping onto my heels and opening my eyes. His were serious as he watched me, the skin around them slightly crinkled. The bond between us felt like a livewire, a barrage of too many different things at once, muffled as he tried to keep the brunt of them all from me. He pressed his lips together, and I definitely didn’t watch his mouth as he did so. “Rune…”

Oh god, I just did that. I just kissed him. This was fine. This was  _ totally _ fine… Right?

This  _ was _ fine. It  _ was _ . I _ could _ do this. “I talked to Addam,” I told him.

Those wrinkles deepened a little, and how could he worry about that being a  _ bad _ thing when I’d just  _ kissed him _ ? “And?” he said hesitantly.

_ Hesitantly. _

He wanted this, I realised with wonder. It was something that I’d spent the last day and a half trying to wrap my head around with minimal success, but now... he looked  _ nervous _ . This  _ mattered. _

This mattered, and we would be okay. We would be more than okay.

I wasn’t afraid anymore.

I kissed him again, leaning into him, and I felt his chest hitch when I pressed mine against his.

The first touch was tentative, both of his hands high on my waist, so light that I barely felt more than a hint of warmth and pressure through my shirt. His control on his emotions felt tenuous through the bond, so I pushed into it, telling him wordlessly that it was okay as I kissed him more firmly.

Brand groaned lightly against my mouth, finally,  _ finally _ kissing me back, and I didn’t have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about the way I melted against him when his hands tightened on my sides.

Half a heartbeat later, his hands were gone, and he angled his head away to break the kiss. His forehead still pressed against mine, and  _ now _ he was breathing heavily. A tremble ran through him, and I felt the deep breath he took to steady himself. “Rune,” he said again.

And I understood. I thought about what he’d said to me the other night, and I understood the warning in his voice, the things that he was afraid of. I slid my hands down his arms until I found his hands, and then reached back until they wrapped around me. “Is this what you want?” I asked him gently. I didn’t know what I would do if he said no.

He didn’t say no. He said, “I… Yes. Yes, but I…”

Curling my hands around the back of his neck, I pulled him into me and covered his mouth with mine. I could feel how much he didn’t want to hurt me, how he was still trying to hold himself back, but I also felt the moment when he let himself give into it. A cacophony of emotions hit me all at once as he stopped trying to hold them back, so strong that I felt almost dizzy with it.

The sound he made when his arms tightened around me was a breathless groan of disbelief and want, and I pressed myself against him, hoping to hear it again. He smelled like clean sweat and tasted faintly like berries. I didn’t know if it was the familiarity of him, or the progress I’d made with Addam, but I felt… okay. Very much more than okay. I trusted him more than I trusted anything else in this world. I knew that the logic part of my brain and the instinct part of it didn’t always match up, but right now, this was the only thing that I wanted.

He deepened the kiss, tilting his head and pressing my lips apart with his own, and I thrilled because maybe it wouldn’t take much convincing for him not to treat me like glass after all. I groaned when he took a step forward, pressing me back against the kitchen bench, the long hard line of his body against mine. When he murmured my name against my lips again, it was no longer a question. My body answered it anyway.

Until it didn’t.

I didn’t know if it was the way one of his hands dropped lower to my hip, or maybe the way that I wasn’t really thinking about how I was breathing that suddenly had my chest feeling unbearably tight. I didn’t know if it was the sound of footsteps coming from somewhere in the house, a sound familiar but unexpected since I’d been distracted.

Panic surged through me, and in the next heartbeat, Brand was gone.

But he didn’t go far, and I felt him hovering nearby as I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut. Self-hatred surged through me, because I couldn’t even manage this, I couldn’t feel safe in my own home, with  _ Brand _ . I waited for him to walk away, to decide it was too much. He’d be selfless about it; he wouldn’t want to hurt me, he couldn’t bear to be the one to make me feel like this. He wouldn't think that this wasn’t worth whatever we could have.

Warm fingers touched my cheeks, tilting my head back. “Look at me,” he said, his voice somehow both gentle and firm. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. He didn’t stop me from turning my face away, but he didn’t let go of me either. “Rune, please.”

I couldn’t deny him, not when he had that twinge of desperation in his voice. Swallowing hard, I forced my eyes open, but I couldn’t quite meet his. “Just go,” I said roughly.

“Don’t be a fucking idiot,” he said, and the contrast of his tender hands on my face with the demand in his voice was enough to strip me bare. “Rune. Fucking look at me.” My stomach twisted as I did as he asked. His eyes, pale and clear, saw past any barrier I could have put between us. When he spoke again, there was not a trace of irritation or frustration or regret. “You’re safe, okay? I’m here with you, and you’re safe.”

“You don’t want this.” He’d be stupid to want this.

“You don’t get to tell me what I want. I’m here for all of it. I always have been. What makes you think that it’s going to be any different now?”

That small voice in the back of my head tried to tell me that of course it would be different now, that the very act of trying to push myself like this meant that it would be different now.

But then there was a slightly louder voice that reminded me of all of the times where I’d woken from a nightmare to find Brand already in my bed, careful to keep a little space between us even as he lent me comfort just from his presence, or all the times that he’d sat with me in silence until I felt like myself again.

Or the times when he’d given me shit until I felt like myself again.

I looked him in the eyes, and took a deep breath, and another.

“Um.” A shuffle of feet on the floorboards. “Are you… Is Rune okay?”

Fuck. Brand’s expression didn’t change. His eyes didn’t leave me. “Can you give us a minute, Max?”

“But —”

“Max.” His tone didn’t offer a chance for Max to argue again. Surprisingly, Max only paused for a moment more before his footsteps led him away. Brand sighed. “Look. You think I don’t know that this isn’t going to be easy? You think I don’t think it’s worth it? I’m in, okay? If this is what you want, I’m in. For the record, it’d be nice if you could use your words for —”

“It’s what I want,” I said, letting the words fall out unhindered. His face softened instantly, and the discomfort I’d felt a few minutes ago faded a little more. “You. This. Is what I want.” I swallowed. “You and Addam. I mean. You and me, and Addam and me. And, I guess, you and Addam if you both want, but you know, that’s up to you — which, by the way, he said that —”

“Rune.”

“I’m not glass,” I said, surprising myself with the determination in my voice. It was my own insecurities that told me he thought I was, but I needed him to know. I needed him to understand. “I’m not broken. You’re not going to break me.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly. “I know,” he said simply. “You’re the bravest asshole I know.”

Gods, how was  _ that _ the thing that made me choked up?

He was careful as he leaned in, and less so when I leaned forward to meet his kiss halfway.

* * *

It wasn't until after dinner was done with and Queenie had disappeared out the back for the night that we found ourselves very suddenly alone.

Max crashed down the stairs, a bag slung over one shoulder and his phone in his hand. A quick interrogation revealed that Quinn had texted him fifteen minutes ago asking if he wanted to come and have a sleepover and by the way, he's already sent a car because Max almost always says yes. I was half a breath away from raking him over the coals about the fact that apparently his  _ last _ priority was telling Brand and I about it since he was already packed and heading for the door, when Max's phone buzzed again. Max glanced at the phone, then up at me. "'Rune almost always says yes too.'"

For the first time, Max seemed to realise that I might not let him go, and the speed with which his face was overcome with hesitance made my heart hurt. "You can go," I said, with more reluctance than I felt. I heard the sound of a car pulling up out the front. "Maybe next time give us a heads up?"

He at least had the grace to look chastened as Brand slipped out the front door to verify the car and the driver. He was back a moment later, giving me a quick, satisfied nod before he turned to Max. "Text one of us in the morning and let us know what you're doing. We'll come get you if Addam can't send you back in a car."

A complex series of emotions flashed across Max's face, but he seemed to decide that he was more pleased that we were being protective of him than he was stifled that we were being protective of him. A blush spread up his neck, quickly disguised by a smattering of blue-green before it disappeared entirely.

Brand watched out the window until the car drove away, and then walked over to the couch, grabbing the remote. The TV was playing repeats of an old sitcom on mute until he flicked onto Netflix and started skimming through options. "Wanna watch a movie?"

I took a step toward the couch, and then hesitated. Brand was sitting down, one arm stretched casually across the back, his other hand holding the remote in his lap. It was the same relaxed position he frequently took, but did  _ “Wanna watch a movie” _ still mean just that? What was supposed to  _ happen _ now?

I paused for too long. He turned his head to look at me blankly. "What?"

"Are we supposed to go on dates?" I blurted out. I couldn't think of anything more awkward than going on a fancy date with Brand. It felt weird enough doing that with Addam, but weird in a nice way. We were getting to know each other, and that included going to places that I wouldn't normally go to in the name of finding out what his favourite childhood memory was and how he liked his steak.

Brand and I already knew each other. Too well. What the hell were we supposed to do on a date?

Brand burst out laughing. "You want me to wine and dine you?"

I didn't, not really, not in the traditional sense. But I felt like maybe I  _ should. _ "Is that not what I'm supposed to want?" I paused, suddenly unsure. "If I don't, then how is this any different than what we were already doing?"

Brand's eyebrow arched. "Wow, that was a really vivid daydream I had earlier," he said dryly. "There was all this kissing, and you made the cutest little sound when I —"

"Okay," I said, my face burning. I knew he was teasing me, but I liked that he called me cute probably more than I should, and I could never ever let him know that. "I just don't know if it's weird if nothing else changes that much — oh." I snapped my mouth shut, pressing my lips together in a grimace. "We were kinda already dating, huh."

He shrugged. "Kinda."

"Huh."

"Yep." Brand turned back toward the television and waved the remote in the air. "So we could continue to be weird about this, or we could watch things go boom."

Slowly, I stepped around the couch and sat down beside him. He settled back against the couch again, and I didn't think too much about the way his fingers brushed against my shoulder. Not at all. I swallowed against the sudden lump in my throat that had absolutely nothing to do with him. "If we're dating, do I get to pick what we watch?"

_ If we're dating,  _ because that was a thing that was actually happening.  _ What the fuck. _

Brand scoffed quietly, selecting a movie and unmuting the TV. "Not a chance."

It was worth a try. My next play was even less likely. "If this is a date, do we get date snacks? Chocolate? Wine?"

"I have protein balls in the fridge."

"Are they chocolate?"

"Oatmeal."

"Ugh."

Brand relaxed into the couch, but I only felt more tense. Because if I followed suit, I'd end up leaning with my side tucked right up against his, and that wasn't really anything new, we sat like that sometimes normally, but to do that with  _ intention _ was something else entirely. I shifted my weight, not really away from him, but not any closer either, and only ended up sitting more stiffly. Except now I didn't want to move again because then I would be fidgeting, and then he'd know I was being awkward, and —

With an impatient sigh, Brand's arm settled more fully across my shoulders, pulling me closer. I settled against him, slowly leaning my head back to rest against his shoulder. He was warm, his body solid and comfortable under mine.

Okay. This was okay.

Brand's next exhale sounded less irritated and more satisfied, and I didn’t try to hide my smile.

I lost myself in the movie and in Brand, and even managed to not be self conscious as I slowly became a relaxed puddle against his side. After a while, his fingers started to trail up and down my upper arm. At first, it was soothing, a quiet affection that was more than our usual but still in the realm of the familiar, but then…

Nothing about the way Brand touched me changed, but all of a sudden it felt charged in a way that it hadn’t only moments before. I was hyper-aware of all of the points that we touched. His arm around my shoulders, his thigh flush against my thigh, his side pressed against mine. I dropped my gaze from the TV to the long line of his body stretched out beside me, his feet kicked up on the coffee table. His sweatpants were loose but his t-shirt tight, and my eyes stalled on the way it clung to his body.

My mouth was suddenly dry.  _ Oh. Okay. _

_ Um. _

Before I could decide what I was supposed to do with the arousal that was thrumming through me, Brand’s hand stiffened on my shoulder. His breathing caught for the barest second before it picked up its previous even rhythm.

But I noticed it. That he’d stilled; that he was aware of… how I felt. That he felt that I was turned on. My throat tightened, and my face heated with embarrassment as much as want. I felt caught in the newness of letting myself feel what Brand’s physicality brought out in me, apprehensive about letting him see it. Ashamed that he felt like he needed to stop. “I’m okay,” I said quietly, unable to meet his eye.

"I know," Brand said, his tone too casual to be genuine.

"I'm not going to break."

"I fucking  _ know _ .”

Except that we both know that we were lying.

Right now, though, I itched to push myself. I didn’t want to be weighed down by this, not right now. I wanted to be able to let one of my boyfriends(!) turn me on with the barest touch, and enjoy that fact rather than let it bring me down.

Turning my head, I leaned up, too quickly to catch whatever careful look was on his face, and pressed my mouth against his.

His sigh against my lips felt like relief, and I didn’t know whether it was his or mine but there was nothing but  _ rightness _ echoing through me when he kissed me back, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek. His lips were warm and firm on mine, but still he pulled away too soon. “Are you —”

I opened my eyes to glare at him. “Don’t you dare ask me if I’m sure.”

I watched him bite the words back. I watched him pause, his eyes flickering searchingly between mine. And then my eyes slid closed again as he bent his head to kiss me.

I leaned into him immediately, my heart thundering in my chest because Brand wanted to make out with me and it was strange and wonderful and  _ how _ had it taken us so long to figure it out? Running on the high of it all, I didn’t second guess myself as I twisted to face him properly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Brand seemed to have the same idea of  _ closer _ , except instead of pulling me in toward him, he pushed me back down against the couch. One arm slipped around my waist, and his other hand was firm on the back of my neck, keeping me close as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. The soft sound I made was lost in the brush of his tongue against mine.

For the first time, I got to explore Brand’s body the way I’d not let myself think about wanting to for a very long time. My hands trailed over his chest and shoulders while we kissed, marvelling at the smoothness of his hair under my fingers, the way that he shivered when I accidentally scraped my nails against his scalp, and then groaned when I did it again on purpose. My other hand slid down his back, tracing patterns along his spine through his shirt, and I paused for only a moment before slipping underneath.

Brand’s skin was warm under my fingers. Keeping my touch light, I smoothed my hand up his back… and faltered when I met the raised ridge of an old scar. It was one thing to see them, to see the reminder of what had been done to him because of me, but to feel it, to feel it while we were like  _ this — _

The sudden firmness to Brand’s mouth on mine was the same type of warning that I’d given him not so long ago. It took considerable effort, but I pushed the shame and bitterness away, forcing myself not to dwell on it. Flattening his hand against Brand’s back, I wrapped my arm around him as far as I could, fingers grasping at his waist and pulling him close. Close, close, closer, I wanted closer, I wanted —

I shifted my legs, and suddenly Brand was between them, and  _ oh fuck _ .

I didn’t know if it was the feeling of his weight against my erection, or the fact that I could feel  _ Brand’s _ heavy against the inside of my thigh, but my breath caught. He shifted against me, and I wasn’t responsible for the sound that left my throat. “Did you like that?” he said against my lips, sounding a little wondrous and a little breathless himself. He shifted again, pressing down against me.

“Don’t be smug,” I gasped.

“Even if —”

He cut off sharply when I slipped my hand between them, but I froze when my fingers touched the fuzzy trail of hair leading down from his navel, the backs of my knuckles brushing against the top of his sweatpants. Brand’s hips rocked against me again. “If you’re waiting for my permission…” he started, but I shook my head.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I wanted this so badly, but I wasn’t going to rush in and fuck this up for us. I’d tried to push with Addam, still got angry when my mind wouldn’t let me go through with the things my body and my heart wanted, but… but I was making progress, and this could be okay if I took it slowly. Brand’s weight above me felt good right now while I was high on a rush of want, but there was a tightness in my chest that was one step too close to discomfort, and if I got carried away… “Can you lift up?” I asked quietly, and hoped he wouldn’t make a big deal about it. “Just a little.”

Brand moved instantly, shifting his weight to his knees. When he tried to lift up onto his hands, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down onto his elbows — I needed space to breathe, but I still wanted to feel him. I was nervous as I looked up at Brand’s face and slipped my hand into his pants, but somehow the flush on his cheeks when our eyes met calmed me. He wanted this too. He was nervous about this too. His eyes fluttered closed when I wrapped my hand around his cock.

I stroked him slowly, getting used to the feel of him. I’d seen his dick plenty of times before, but it was different to feel it, to feel the smoothness of his skin, the heat and heaviness of him in my hand. My eyes remained on Brand’s face as I touched him, and I felt a rush of affection for him, that he was letting me take my time with him. Tightening my grip around the base of him, I stroked up to the tip and then squeezed around the head, entranced by the way his lips parted on a sigh. A desperate little sound fell from mine as I pushed up on my elbows, kissing him hungrily and pulling him back down with me.

It wasn’t long before the kisses turned messier and more demanding, but the only thing I felt was  _ good _ . I shifted my arm to get a more comfortable angle, and swallowed Brand’s moan when my hand tightened around him. He moved suddenly, holding himself up with one hand while he reached back to tug his sweatpants down past his hips with the other. He paused for a moment and then pushed back to kneel between my thighs, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt with both hands and pulling it up over his head.

My mouth went dry at the sight of Brand’s arms lifted above his head, his body bare from neck to mid-thigh, his dick large and thick as it hung between his legs. I didn’t miss Brand’s satisfied smirk, but fuck it, it was deserved. Throwing all self-consciousness to the wind, I leaned up quickly, pressing my open mouth to the centre of his chest. Brand groaned. “Fuck.  _ Rune _ .”

The sound of my name falling from Brand’s lips, the desperation in his voice, had my head spinning. Brand’s hips pressed down against mine and I moaned, my grip tightening on Brand’s dick. I stroked him again and when my palm became slick with precum, it hit me again that this was happening, me and Brand, that Brand wanted me like this. I could  _ feel _ Brand’s arousal, in my hand, through the bond, in the way that he touched me.

So I was surprised when Brand’s hand caught my wrist, stopping me. But before the doubt could settle, his mouth was against my neck. “I wanna taste you,” he said, sounding a little desperate. “If it’s too much, tell me, tell me and I’ll stop, but please Rune, I want — fuck I want you.”

I trembled, overwhelmed. “Brand… fuck…”

“I want… tell me if I can…”

The words caught in my throat, but I forced them out. “O-okay, okay, oh gods.”

He moved quickly, leaning back and tugging at my shirt until I pushed up enough for him to drag it over my head. His hand slid around to cradle the back of my head as he bent back down over me, pressing a hot, opened mouth kiss against my neck. I squirmed underneath his touch, my skin burning like fire under his lips as he kissed his way down my collarbone, over my chest, and paused to roll his tongue over my nipple.

I was painfully hard, and I gasped when Brand’s teeth grazed against my lower stomach. I watched him intently as he paused with his fingertips tucked into the band of my sweatpants, and my brain melted a little bit when he looked up at me through his eyelashes. But I was focused enough to see the caution in his eyes. “I’ll tell you,” I assured him. “If I need you to stop.” I paused. “I really don’t want you to stop.”

Brand’s eyes darkened with hunger, and it was with quick, sharp movements that he tugged my underwear down. I clung to the image when my head fell back against the couch, holding my breath as he took me in his hand.

And the sound that fell from my lips when I felt the wet heat of his mouth surround the head of my dick was definitely not a whimper,  _ fuck _ .

My hands scrambled for purchase, needing to hold onto something. A hand brushed against mine, and I threaded my fingers through his tightly. Steadied by the touch, I let myself fall into the way his lips closed around my cock, his tongue working against my skin. I groaned as he sunk further down over me, taking me in deep, and trembled when he pulled back to press his tongue against the base of my head.

Brand moved my hand to the back of his head, and I took the invitation to cling on, twisting my fingers in his hair and fighting hard not to thrust up into his mouth, fighting hard not to let this end too soon. One of his hands stayed around the base of my cock, holding me steady, and the other settled on his hip, crawling up my side to clutch at my waist.

I tensed, the touch firm and surprising enough to pull me out of it just a little, not enough to set me on edge but enough to… be aware. Enough to have Brand hesitate. I reached down to cup his cheek. “I’m okay,” I told him, and meant it. “I’m okay, just…” I was distracted by the warmth of him wrapped around me, but I forced myself to focus. I thought about how hearing my name in Brand’s familiar voice had sent such a thrill through me before. “Brand, don’t stop. Please.”

He moaned around my cock, and the vibrations of it sent a shiver through me. He shifted his weight, and it was only then that I realised that his hand was between his own legs, jerking himself off with quick, practised movements. “Fuck. Brand.  _ Brand. _ ”

He moaned again, taking me in deeper as he did so, and my hips moved before I could stop them, lifting up to press in deeper again. Brand took all of me easily, and it felt so good, I felt so good and safe and sure of myself. I felt brave. I felt powerful. I wanted to make Brand feel like this, wanted to make Addam feel like this, I was breathless with the idea of what we could do  _ together. _ “I —  _ oh fuck. _ ”

I returned my hand to the back of Brand’s head, and when he sucked around me, pressing his tongue firmly as he did so, my fingers tightened instinctively in his hair. He made a choked off sound, his shoulders tensing, his mouth going momentarily slack around me. He moaned, paused, and then moaned again, but he never pulled off of me, and I thought… I thought maybe he’d just… “Did you just…?” I gasped. “Brand,  _ gods _ .”

He  _ had _ , he’d come sucking my cock, and I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I cried out as my orgasm tore through me, my whole body trembling as I jerked into his mouth and spilled onto his tongue.

Brand pulled back, continuing to stroke me gently, licking the remaining beads of cum from the tip. He looked up at me as I started to soften, and I reached for him immediately, grabbing at his shoulder, tugging him toward me. “Here, here,” I said, too fuzzy to regret how needy I sounded. I pulled him up to lay on top of me, and this time the dark part of my brain didn’t make me hesitate about the lack of space between us.

I just needed him as close as possible.

I slowly caught my breath as Brand buried his face against my neck, a little overwhelmed by the static just underneath my skin, by the pure warmth spreading between us through the bond. I stroked my hand up his back to thread my fingers through his hair, smiling when he arched his body against mine lazily. This felt so… so  _ normal _ . It was just me and Brand, except he’d just blown me on our couch. The movie was still playing in the background. “I guess it was a good thing Quinn invited Max over,” I said, grinning at the ceiling.

Brand started to shake. It took me a moment to realise that he was laughing. “What?” He only laughed harder. “Brand, what?”

He lifted his head, crossing his arms over my chest to meet my eyes, and I softened a little to see him so fucking happy. Even if he was laughing at something that I didn’t know what it was. I was pretty sure it wasn’t my dick. Right? Brand kissed me, and it was so tender that I almost forgot about wondering why he was laughing until he pulled back and I saw the amusement still in his eyes. “You really think it’s a coincidence that Quinn found a reason for Max to not be home tonight?”

I stared at him, not comprehending. And then — “Wait. You think he… you think he  _ knew _ that we’d…  _ oh my gods.” _

* * *

A few hours later, after a bit of uncertainty about who was sleeping where, I dragged Brand up to my bedroom. I wasn’t intending to do more than sleep, but I was still feeling the rush of being allowed this closeness. I’d warned him, though, that if he woke me before dawn when he got up to run laps around the block or whatever he did, then he wasn’t allowed in my bed ever again.

I watched him as he crawled into my bed, pulling back the covers, and allowed that maybe I’d let him get away with it. If it was an accident.

Plugging my phone in to charge, I paused when I saw a notification. Quinn. I didn’t think he would send a text instead of calling if it were an emergency, but since he was with Max, I opened the message anyway.

_ Addam said I should let you two figure it out in your own time, but most of the time you’re too happy to be mad at me. _

I smiled as I put the phone down and switched off the light.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first finished the first two TTS books and wanted to explore it more in the best way I know how (smut, it's smut), this is the scene that I wanted to write. But I wanted to do it right by Rune and where his boundaries and comfort levels are in the books so far. And then a bunch of little scenes popped in my head and I went FINE I GUESS WE'RE DOING A MULTI CHAPTER FIC ABOUT IT THEN.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy what's essentially 7.5k words of fluff and smut.
> 
> Also using this chapter to fill the Rune Saint John box on my Tarot Sequence Bingo card, because I can :D

Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I closed the door and leaned back against it, smiling to myself. I felt _good_ , and the fact that this wasn’t unusual anymore filled me to bursting.

Taking a long draw from the bottle, I recapped it and returned it to the fridge. The room swayed around me as I turned, but the heaviness in my limbs felt more like tiredness than the fact that I was a little tipsy.

I could hear the timbre of Brand’s voice above the music that Addam had put on earlier, and hoped that they were still talking about what I’d left them with a few minutes ago. There was a thin line between detailing our early adventures as mercenaries, and embarrassing stories about me. Although, I found that I didn’t mind so much either way. At this point, Addam had already seen me at my best and my worst, and he was still here.

Plus, I’d get Brand back just as bad if I had to. I was no longer the only one trying to impress a son of the Justice court.

In the other room, Addam laughed, low and deep and true. I felt the warm thrum of satisfaction flow through Brand in response, and didn’t care what they were talking about. How could I be anything but happy when the men that I loved brought out the same in each other?

Still, I paused in the doorway on the way back to them, because Addam wasn’t dancing aimlessly around the living room like he had been when I’d left. No, now he was kneeling over Brand on the couch, their hands clasped together in a way that looked like Brand had pulled him down on top of him. Addam was kissing Brand, or Brand was kissing Addam, or it didn’t matter who was doing the kissing because their lips didn’t part when they both broke into smiles that were so unbelievably _fond._

I watched them in wonder for a few long seconds, until I remembered that I could be a part of this too, that they wanted me just as much as I wanted them, as they wanted each other, and _what did I ever do to deserve something as perfect as this?_

Of course Brand knew I was standing there, but it still made me smile when he reached out for me without pulling away from Addam. Addam’s hand found me first when I stepped close, and he broke the kiss with Brand to lean up and press his face against my neck instead. His mouth brushed my skin softly, nuzzling into me more than a kiss. He balanced with his knees pressed against Brand’s thigh, his forearm against the back of the couch. I watched Brand’s hands as they flattened against Addam’s stomach, holding him up. Until one of them found my waist, anyway. I put my hand in Brand’s hair and closed my eyes, sighing with contentment at how easy this felt, this casual closeness that I’d fought so hard for. That we’d all fought for.

“You’re tired,” Addam said, and it wasn’t a question.

“I’m fine,” I said, and was immediately betrayed by my own body. I fought to keep my lips pressed together, but couldn’t stop the way my jaw stretched or my eyes started to water as I struggled not to yawn.

“Real fucking convincing,” Brand said, but there was a smile in his voice _._ His fingers rubbed lightly at my hip through my t-shirt.

Addam hummed lightly against my skin. “Take me to bed, Hero.”

I felt a stir of interest that I knew I was too tired for. Brand laughed before I could make a foolish decision about what I was capable of. “He’s just as wrecked as you are. He’ll be asleep and snoring as soon as his head hits the pillow.”

“Almost definitely,” Addam agreed. “But let me do it with you.” He pulled away and smiled sleepily at Brand to make it clear that he meant the both of us, and Brand’s pleasure was a match to my own. We’d spent the last few months building our relationships, both together and separately, but nothing made me happier than having both of them in the same place, breathing and existing and loving together.

Wordlessly, I took my hand from Brand’s hair and offered it to him instead. He took it immediately, squeezing it while he waited for Addam to crawl off him.

Brand’s bed was closer, but mine was bigger. I barely thought about it anymore when I stripped down to my underwear and climbed onto the bed. Turning around, I slipped my legs under the covers while I watched Brand kick his sweatpants off his legs, leaving him in a pair of white boxer briefs. Addam’s designer sweats came off as well, leaving him in absolutely nothing, because of course he wasn’t wearing underwear today.

Brand crawled into bed beside me, but I held up a hand as Addam set a knee on the edge of the mattress to follow. "Wait," I said, and paused when two sets of eyes sharpened on me. I made a point of looking Addam up and down (which wasn't hard, _damn,_ his abs had only gotten more pronounced since he'd started training with Brand _)_ , and then turned to Brand. "That's our boyfriend."

Brand rolled his eyes, even as the corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile. "Idiot."

Addam lifted an eyebrow at me, but I could see him fighting a smile too. "Hero, are you objectifying me?"

"Absolutely," I told him, and grinned when he laughed and shook his head at me before following Brand onto the bed.

I shifted over to the side when Brand seemed to want to take the middle, surprised by how quickly my body relaxed once it hit the mattress. His arm slipped under my head, wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me close. He moved to roll onto his back, but Addam was already there, curling up behind him. He settled on his side instead, apparently happy to be cuddled into from both sides.

Good thing, too, because the skin of Brand’s chest was warm and solid under my cheek, and I didn’t want to move for anything.

I’d spent so long thinking that I’d never be strong enough for something like this. Now I knew that this is what made me strong.

Fingers brushed mine, before Addam closed his hand around them and brought them to his lips. When he let go, I dropped my hand to settle on Addam’s bare waist, and felt as much as heard his contented sigh. “Love you,” he murmured, nuzzling into Brand’s shoulder.

I wasn’t sure who he was talking to. We’d said the words before, but I didn’t know whether Addam and Brand had yet, to each other. I was pretty sure I’d felt it from Brand — it was different than what I felt when Brand looked at me, but it was there. I was certain.

Addam wore his heart on his sleeve, in his eyes, in his smile. I was pretty sure he felt it too.

“I love you too,” I said, and then paused. “Brand…” But his breathing had already evened out, tinged with that almost-snore that he always made when he’d been drinking.

The sound Addam made could have been a laugh, if the laugh were mostly asleep. “Good night, love,” he said, and this time I didn’t bother wondering who he was talking to. Tightening my grip on Addam’s side, I used it to pull the three of us closer together. I pressed my face against Brand’s chest, humming in satisfaction when his fingers flexed in the hair on the back of my neck.

In bed, with the three of us wrapped around each other, I couldn’t resist as sleep pulled me under.

* * *

I became aware of something, of movement. “Shh,” a voice breathed, and lips brushed against my hair. “Don’t wake up, I’ll be back.” I sank back into sleep.

At some point I felt a dip in the bed and something warm press all the way along my back, but I felt myself drifting off again before I could wake enough to question it.

* * *

The next time I woke, my face was pressed once more against a chest, and the smell of yesterday’s cologne and the brush of hair against my nose told me that it was Addam's this time. I blinked my eyes open, tilting my head back to look up at him with bleary eyes. He was still asleep, with drool in the corner of his mouth, his face turned into the pillow.

Light peeked around the edges of the curtains, but I couldn’t tell how late or how early it was.

I felt lips brush against my shoulder. Brand. I started to turn my head, but his cheek pressed against mine before I could move far. His stubble scratched at my skin. “Morning,” I whispered. I was sure of that much, at least.

Brand made a sound of impatience in the back of his throat, even as his arm tightened around my waist. “Of course you wake up early to this but won’t get up early to run laps around the block with me.”

“Is that seriously what you got up for before?”

“What? No. I got a bottle of water.”

Water. I became immediately aware of the dryness of my throat. “I don’t suppose it’s within reach?”

“It’s on the cupboard by the door.” He paused. “I’ll get it.”

“No,” I grumbled, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer around me until I felt the warm length of him all the way along my back. And then, “I love you,” because he didn’t get to hear it last night, and I needed to make sure he knew.

He stiffened slightly, and then dropped his head to press his face against my neck. “Love you too. Now go back to sleep.”

“Mmm,” I sighed in agreement, but apparently my body had other ideas, and wouldn’t let me drift off again. I kept my eyes closed, my face against Addam’s chest, and marvelled at how easy this was, how safe I felt.

How, just a few months ago, I’d have been unable to be so thoroughly surrounded by bodies the way I was now.

The first few times that the three of us had ventured into the bedroom together had been fraught with pressure, a shadow of my past hanging over all us. But Addam’s reassuring touch, Brand’s comforting presence, had managed to get me out of my head. It wasn’t so much about pretending that it hadn’t happened, or that I was a different person, or that everything was suddenly okay. It was more… learning what _was_ okay, and playing within those borders until I felt safe enough to venture out of them.

It was Addam’s mouth against the place that no one had gone near since that night. It was Brand’s fingers, finding new places inside me that had me flushing with pleasure just to think about. It was two weeks ago, when Addam had held me close, moving inside me for the first time, so slowly that in the end I’d been begging for more.

I smiled against Addam’s skin, with Brand warm against my back, and was grateful for how far we’d all come together.

It wasn’t until Addam shifted in his sleep, his thigh pressing lightly against me, that I realised that I’d started to get hard.

Brand’s arm loosened around me, and for a moment I thought he was going to pull away. Instead, he traced a pattern over my chest, down to my stomach and back up again. The light touch felt good, and I held my breath as his fingers explored my skin. It might have been just a soothing touch, if not for the way his thumb flicked over my nipple.

My lips parted, but I still didn’t breathe, worried about waking Addam. A moment later he stirred anyway, making a soft sleepy sound before rubbing his cheek against the top of my head. “Rune,” he mumbled happily, pressing closer with his whole body, and the sound he made when he rocked against me again almost immediately was a little less sleep and a lot more interested. “Were you waiting for me?” he asked, like the thought was the sweetest thing we could have done. He slipped a little lower in the bed so that we were face to face, a twinkle in his tired eyes.

“I wasn’t… anything,” I said, and then shivered when Brand’s fingers dipped to trail over my stomach.

“Mmm,” Addam said, amused, and then his lips were on mine, soft and warm and lazy. “How about now?”

Gentle fingers brushed my cheek as we kissed, slow and long. When they disappeared, I felt Brand’s mouth against my neck and imagined Addam’s fingers in his hair. Brand’s arm tightened around my waist, pulling me back against him, and I grabbed at Addam to drag him with me, keeping our bodies flush. Caught between them, I was warm with both their body heat, and that heat flooded through me in a way that I was becoming more and more familiar with.

Addam kissed me until my lungs felt like they were going to burst, but when he pulled away he barely paused, sucking in a quick breath before pushing himself up onto his elbow and leaning over me. I heard the happy sound from the back of Addam’s throat, felt the pleasure from Brand through our bond as they kissed.

Brand’s hand flexed on my stomach at the same time that Addam leaned more heavily into me, pushing me onto my back as he and Brand momentarily became lost in each other. I laughed a little under my breath as Addam’s weight pressed down on me in his eagerness to get to Brand, but the laughter cut off into a quiet moan when he shifted his weight and pressed down against me, reminding me of the desire slowly building inside me.

I only had the chance to feel embarrassed about it for a moment or two before Addam’s hand found the side of my face. He turned it toward Brand, who quickly covered my mouth with his, and since when had these two been so in sync?

I twisted enough to wrap an arm around Brand’s shoulders, and kept the other around Addam, holding them both close and revelling in the fact that these two men loved me, and let me love them, and maybe even loved each other.

Brand made a sound against my lips that sounded almost desperate. “Rune,” he breathed, and I knew he’d caught onto what I was feeling. He kissed me again, harder this time, and I gave myself over to it completely, willing to let myself drown in the both of them.

The next time Addam shifted against me, I felt the hard length of him against the front of my thigh, and remembered he was naked. Tentatively, I slid my hand down Addam’s side to his hip, and then reached further to cup his ass. He sighed against my neck, moving against me more deliberately this time. Dropping his hand to my thigh in a questioning touch, he hesitated, and then at my wordless encouragement curled his fingers behind my knee, spreading my legs enough for him to slip between them.

His groan matched mine as our bodies lined up, separated only by the thin material of my underwear. The cold metal of his sigil hand slipped between me and Brand as he held himself above me, and the touch felt refreshing against the heat underneath my skin.

When Brand finally pulled away, I blinked my eyes open just in time to see his tongue dart out against Addam’s neck before he closed his mouth over it, covering his skin with open-mouthed kisses. Addam was never quiet about his arousal, and now was no different — he moaned as he tilted his head back to give Brand better access, and again when his hips jerked down against mine.

I rolled my hips up into him, as much to hear the sounds he made as much as for the pleasure it brought me. I grinned when Addam’s gasp turned into a breathless laugh.

I wanted Brand to fall apart like that too, just a little.

Or just a lot.

So I pulled my arm from around his shoulders and slipped it between us instead, tugging his underwear down as far as I could and wrapping my hand around his hard cock. His eyelids fluttered shut immediately, and he let out a shuddering breath against Addam’s neck. Addam’s eyes were lust-filled when they blinked open, but the delight on his face was clear, and my grin widened when I stroked Brand again.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Brand said, but any bite of sarcasm was balanced by the thickness of the arousal in his voice.

“Very much,” I told him, not bothering to hide the smugness I felt, and then paying for it when Addam rocked his hips down against me again.

It wasn’t so bad, though, when my hand tightened around Brand in reflex, and Brand made a choked off sound in the back of his throat.

It was easy to lose track of time, floating in the slow press of bodies and mouths and hands. I felt nothing but relaxed and aroused and wanted when Addam brushed his lips against my ear. “Hero…” he started, and then paused.

I felt my awareness sharpen, and wasn’t sure if it was my own mind focusing or Brand’s. Addam adjusted his knees, putting more of his weight on his elbows and less on me, and it wasn’t until he spoke again that I understood that he was giving me space. “Can I…?”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. I knew what he was asking, and why he was hesitant — we’d only done this twice before. I hadn’t taken this step with Brand at all yet. I’d fucked both of them, but it had taken a long time for that to feel like a thing I could handle being done to me.

No. Not done to me. It was a thing we’d done together. A thing to be _enjoyed_ together.

It hadn’t been as bad as I’d thought. By which I meant that it had been _very fucking good_. Addam had taken his time, taken so long with me that I'd felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin before he’d finally pressed inside, stretching me so gently that there hadn’t been even a suggestion of pain when he'd first entered me.

I was… working on Brand. I’d suggested it the last time we’d fooled around, but Brand had veered us in another direction. I’d seen straight through him, but I hadn’t pushed it. His comfort was just as important as mine, and I knew that this was complicated for him too.

And so, as soon as I understood what Addam was asking, I glanced automatically at Brand. His cheeks were flushed, and I watched his throat as he swallowed before he spoke. “I really really want to watch him fuck you,” he said, his eyes a little wide. After a heartbeat, they widened further. “If you want to. You don't have to do —”

“Please,” I said, and tried not to feel embarrassed at the desperation in my voice. I tilted my hips up, pressing against Addam, and reached up to curl my hand around the back of Brand’s neck. “Please, I want…”

I trailed off, but no one interrupted me. Addam looked very pleased, and almost a little smug as his fingers brushed over my forehead, pushing my hair back from my face. A quiet huff of amusement came from Brand, and it was combined with… yep, that was definitely arousal. Addam smiled wider, but his voice was serious as he leaned down to kiss my collarbone. “I’d like to hear you say it.”

It wasn't a plea for validation, or a guilt trip. It was a regular and necessary request between us. Each of us. Addam was usually more eloquent about it, even when deep in arousal, while with Brand it usually dissolved into: “Yeah?” _“Yeah.”_

My brain was foggy with want, but I scrambled for the right words. “I want you to fuck me.”

Addam’s eyes darkened in sync with the thrum of desire that came from Brand. “I can do that,” he said thickly, leaning down to press his mouth against mine.

But it was Brand who moved down my body, removing my underwear and settling between my legs. Addam had slipped off me to the side that Brand had just vacated, his left hand roaming over my body while he kissed me slowly, keeping me grounded as Brand slicked up his fingers with the lube I kept in the cupboard at the end of the bed.

Brand’s mouth pressed against the inside of my thigh as he brushed his fingertips over me. I tried to exude as much calm as I could as he started to massage the skin at my entrance, too lightly to slip inside. It wasn’t a difficult emotion to conjure, not with Addam’s mouth on mine.

I broke the kiss with a groan when his hand drifted down to give my cock a lazy stroke. His lips worked along my jaw, sending a shiver through me as his beard scraped across my neck, quickly soothed by his tongue. “ _Oh_ ,” I sighed, and then my breath caught in my throat as the tip of Brand’s finger pressed inside me. “Oh my gods.”

Brand exhaled heavily against my leg before working in deeper. I arched my back, desperate for contact, and moaned in gratitude when Addam’s mouth returned to mine, his hand roaming my body until it felt like he was touching me everywhere at once. I heard Brand mutter something under his breath that could have only been a curse, but he kept his movements slow and careful as he started to properly stretch me open.

Addam made a sound that was somewhere between protest and longing. Confused, I pulled back to look at him. I couldn’t decipher the expression on his face any more than I could his tone, but when I glanced down I caught him brushing Brand’s free hand away from his dick. Addam twined their fingers together and brought it to his lips, and Brand lifted his head to look at him questioningly. “Save your attentions for our Hero,” Addam said, as he dropped Brand’s hand and returned his to my body, encircling my cock for a moment and then reaching lower to massage lightly at my balls. I bit back a moan. “I’m afraid that I won’t last long enough for him to enjoy me if I have your attentions on me, too.”

I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry, because —

Well, fuck.

Both of us had barely touched him, and he was that turned on, just from this —

Just from us —

“Fuck,” Brand muttered, as he buried his fingers into me again.

But now, I was desperate for it. He’d worked me open until two of his fingers moved in me easily, crooking them inside me on every other thrust until I was trembling. “I’m ready,” I said, squirming down on Brand’s fingers. My whole body felt loose and relaxed and I was ready, I was ready and I needed Addam to fill me up. “Brand… Addam…”

“What do you think, Saint Nicholas?” Brand said before I could resort to begging. I whined as his fingers slipped out of me, then my breath hitched as he took Addam’s hand again and pulled it between my legs. I felt two sets of fingers brush against my opening, and then my brain short-circuited when they slipped into me beside each other. _Shit. Shit. Oh my fucking gods, fuck._ “You sure you’re ready, Rune?”

The only sound I could manage was a ragged groan.

"Great input. You think he's ready, Addam?"

The pressure inside me lessened as one of the fingers pulled out, but it was only a moment before two pressed back into me. Two, plus Brand’s, and I felt so blissfully full. "I think he's ready," Addam said, his voice thick.

“Oh thank fuck,” I breathed, and earned a chuckle in two different timbres.

The two of them traded places around me. I felt no hint of nerves when Addam shifted to kneel between my legs. No suggestion of fear as gentle hands parted my legs wider and pulled them around his waist, as the blunt head of a dick pressed lightly against me. I _did_ feel safe with Addam, trusted him more than anyone else in the world except for the man stretched out beside me, one hand a comforting weight against my bare stomach, his cheek a familiar warmth on my shoulder. And the fact that we got to do this _together…_

When the idea of doing _this_ with more than one person present had first become a potential reality, I’d been weighed down by fear. Fear, and self-hatred that my mind wouldn't let me just enjoy the pleasure of letting the two men who I loved, love me back. But now that this was happening, the only thing on my mind was pleasure, and warmth, and so much love. Addam started to press into me, and my throat tightened with emotion as much as desire.

“Fuck,” Brand breathed. “He's feeling so much of it.”

Addam paused, rocking his hips gently to create the hint of pressure against my rim without actually pulling out. “Good?” he asked, a pleased smile on his face.

“Good,” Brand said. “So good. Don’t stop.”

“That's my line,” I gasped.

“Don’t stop,” Brand repeated, and kissed my neck.

It was that, and the feeling of Addam inside me, deeper and deeper until I was sure I was as full as I could possibly be, that ripped a moan from my chest. He made a deep sound of his own as he pulled back, and another as he slowly thrust back in. I felt almost drunk on the sounds that he made as he found an angle and a rhythm that suited us both just right. My eyes slid closed as my reality dissolved into the way he moved inside me, into the feeling of Brand’s lips on my skin.

Brand — I’d barely touched Brand. Tilting my head back to give him better access to my neck, I reached between us, encouraged by the way his abs tensed under the light brush of my fingers before I found his cock. My movements were slow, almost lazy as I jerked him off, but I could feel the slow build of arousal that it caused in him, could feel how much he liked it.

After a few minutes, Brand’s mouth moved lower, his tongue tracing over my collarbone before settling over my nipple, teasing it gently between his teeth. My breath caught in a groan, and then hitched again when Addam changed his grip on my legs and I felt a second set of lips against my knee. I forced my eyes open to see him watching me closely. Heat spread through me, but it wasn't embarrassment — it was impossible to feel anything but wanted with both of their attention on me. I clutched tightly at Brand's shoulder as Addam's next thrust went deeper. “To see you like this, Rune,” he said, and then sighed like there was nothing more he wanted in the world. “Brandon…”

Humming in response, Brand pressed a kiss to the centre of my chest before pushing himself up, shifting back on the bed until he knelt at Addam’s side. I could feel the heavy weight of his cock against the outside of my thigh as he pressed up against Addam. The desire running through him felt like my own as he smoothed his hand over Addam’s stomach, up his chest. Over his shoulder, along the long line of his neck, and finally curling around the back of his head to turn it toward him. I watched, mesmerised, as Addam’s eyelids fluttered closed, as their tongues brushed together before they were sealed between hungry lips. Addam’s hips stuttered against mine but only for a moment, and every slow, deep thrust inside me sparked a shiver underneath my skin.

Watching the two of them together was easily one of the hottest things that I’d ever seen. It wasn’t the first time that the three of us had been together, but I knew I’d never stop feeling this thrill. Even with Addam thrusting slowly inside me, I felt like a voyeur as I watched the way they touched each other, the ease with which they moved together.

I was so busy watching Brand’s hands on Addam, so distracted by the fire that was slowly being stoked higher and higher inside me, that I almost missed the look that they gave each other. I might have missed it anyway if it weren’t for the sharp feeling of excitement that spiked through my bond with Brand.

It disappeared quickly, but Addam had never had a good poker face, and he was grinning down at me now like he knew something I didn't. “What —?” I started, but the words caught in my throat when Brand pulled away from Addam, shifting on the bed until he was leaning over the spot where Addam’s body joined mine. With his eyes firmly on me, he dipped his head, and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the base of my cock.

“What,” I said again, because that was all I could manage as Brand kissed his way up my length. There was a tight feeling in my chest that felt like overwhelmed, felt like being out of control, and it could almost have felt like danger if it wasn’t for Brand and Addam’s grounding touches on my legs, my stomach, my hand. I was trembling by the time Brand reached the head of my cock, but it wasn’t fear, it wasn’t discomfort. There was so much tension thrumming through my body but all I wanted was _more_.

Brand’s fingers threaded through mine, squeezing so tightly that it was almost painful. But he didn’t stop, and I had never been more grateful to have someone who trusted me as much as I trusted him, because I was pretty sure that if either of them stopped then I would combust.

As it was, my universe tilted when Brand finally took the head of my cock in his mouth, sliding down over me and taking me in deep all in one go.

The sweet drag of Addam inside me, the wet heat of Brand’s mouth surrounding me — together it was almost too much, and I was barely aware enough to register the gutteral sound that came from my own throat. I heard the sharp sound Addam made though, and let out another groan myself when Addam’s thrusts started to speed up.

The choked sound that came from near my waist brought me back to myself, and it was only then that I realised that I’d been moving, too. My hips were rolling down to meet each of Addam’s thrusts, and then forward, deep into Brand’s mouth. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and I stilled, horrified at myself, when I saw tears glistening at the corner of his eyes. “Shit, shit, sorry,” I gasped.

Addam froze as quickly as I had. “What’s wrong?” he said sharply.

I winced when Brand leaned up, letting my dick slap wetly against my stomach as it slipped from his mouth. “Nothing,” he said before I could answer. He sounded almost annoyed. “Rune thinks he’s being too rough with me, but obviously he’s not fucking thinking about how easily I could stop him if I couldn’t take it, and he _really_ hasn’t considered the fact that maybe I like choking on his fucking cock.”

“Oh,” I said, and then, “fuck.”

“Exactly,” Brand said, and then without a further pause, leaned down to wrap his lips around me once more.

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling too many things to keep track of, but I forced them open again when Addam thrust into me once more, hitting an angle that sent shivers all through me. His sigil hand was in Brand’s hair, his fingers twisted around dark strands. His burgundy eyes looked almost a little wild as he stared down at Brand’s mouth on me, as his eyes raked up over my body until they met mine. “Yes,” he said with a moan. His next thrust was a little sharper, a little more desperate, and it was only then that I realised how tight his grip was on my thigh, how firm the set of his jaw, how tightly wound he was.

“Please,” I said, because the only thing that mattered in the world right now was for Addam to come. “Gods, yes, Addam… _Addam_ …” And as soon as his name fell from my lips, Addam’s face screwed up in pleasure, his hips snapped against mine, and he was coming, I could feel him coming inside me, and I could barely breathe for how good it felt. His back arched, his mouth falling open, and he was still trembling when he pulled out of me, his left hand dropping to his cock. I felt a splatter of warmth against my balls — and then heard Brand make a sound in the back of his throat.

There was a pause, and then Addam was laughing, low and deep and slow. I didn’t understand, not until Brand pulled off my cock and Addam took his chin between his fingers, turning Brand’s head so that I could see his other cheek — smeared with Addam’s come.

I didn’t question the instinct that had me sitting up, leaning over to lick the mess from Brand’s cheek. He turned his head quickly, capturing my mouth with his, moaning into the kiss as his tongue brushed against mine. His hand fisted in the hair at the back of my head, but I couldn’t kiss him for long. Addam was probably most of the way into boneless post-orgasm mode already and, sure enough, when I turned to kiss him, he melted into me like putty.

I let the weight of him push me back onto the bed, and smiled when he hummed happily against my lips. He might be feeling warm and fuzzy and satisfied, but I was still wound up tight, and I knew Brand was as well. I’d never been more sure of what I wanted in my life. Kissing Addam once more, I pulled Brand down with us, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and slipping the other between us to wrap my hand around his cock. He stiffened, and then sighed in pleasure.

I took the leap. “Fuck me.”

If I thought that he was still before, now he was like iron. I could feel his tension in the way he held himself above me, in the set of his shoulders, in the thrum of the bond between us. He took in a deep, slow breath. “Rune…”

“You know what you can handle, and so do I.”

“Except we both know that’s not true.”

“Brand… please.” I kissed him firmly, hoping to persuade him. Hoping he wouldn’t turn me down. I opened myself up for him as much as I could, showing him how the only things I felt were love and comfort and arousal and _need_. Brand’s breath caught in his throat, and he let out a sound almost like a whimper as his hips rutted down against my thigh.

I hadn’t intended my arousal to affect him like _that_. “Fuck you,” Brand said under his breath, because he knew that I didn’t regret it, even if it wasn’t what I intended. “Fuck you so hard.”

“That's the idea.”

I grinned at him as Addam buried a laugh against my shoulder.

Brand didn’t hesitate any longer. Grabbing the lube from where it had been tossed to the other side of the mattress, he moved down the bed until he was kneeling between my thighs once more. His movements were quick and methodical as he slicked himself up, and then slow and careful as he squeezed some onto his fingers and slipped them inside me. I was trembling by the time he pushed my thighs back, and suddenly trying very hard not to feel anything as I remembered how much bigger Brand was than Addam.

But it was okay, I wanted this, I wanted this, I _wanted this._

It was as though Addam was just as tuned to me as Brand was. Propping himself up onto his elbow, he settled a warm, comforting hand on my chest for a few seconds before sliding it lower to stroke my dick, his touch gentle and light and just enough to knock aside my sudden nerves. “Go slow,” he warned Brand.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered under his breath as he lined himself up.

It took me a few seconds to remember to breathe as Brand pressed the head of his dick against my hole, but he remained still until I managed a shuddering breath. His fingers stroked soothingly against my thigh for another few seconds, and then he was _moving,_ working into me with an excruciating slowness, pressing in with tiny thrusts.

He was big. There was no getting around the fact that he was big. Addam was certainly nothing to roll my eyes at, but he filled me up in a comfortable way, particularly when I’d been prepped for it as thoroughly as Addam seemed to enjoy. Even after having Addam inside me, I felt every moment of the stretch as Brand moved deeper. Addam’s hand loosened around me, rubbing me slowly instead of stroking me like he normally would, and I knew I’d lost my erection, despite the pleasure that still thrilled through me when his gentle fingers worked over the head of my dick.

I knew that Brand wasn’t all the way in when he stopped, but any desire I had to hassle him about it was eclipsed by the fact that I already felt so deliciously overwhelmed. Because Brand was inside me, _Brand_ , the man I’d loved all my life, and I could _feel_ how precarious his control was through the bond, could feel how much his heart was aching, how turned on he was, how wondrous. I was all of those things and more, and suddenly any distance between us was too much. I reached for him, but he was already on his way, leaning over me until our mouths met in a desperate urge for _more_.

I kissed him with everything I had, feeling almost drunk with it as he moaned against my lips, as he started to move his hips again in shallow thrusts. Addam’s hand became more confident on me again as my body found its rhythm and I grew hard again. I wrapped an arm around Addam’s shoulders, needing to feel his body just as close against me, wanting to be surrounded by both of them.

I groaned when I felt Addam’s lips against my neck, and again when Brand’s thrusts started to become more sure, going a little deeper each time, a little faster, until it was all I could do to hold onto them both. A shudder ran through me, and Brand groaned like he’d felt it too. “Fuck, Rune,” he gasped.

Addam’s hand tightened on me, his thumb stroking over the head of my dick and making me tremble again. Brand grunted, and I realised I was clenching around him in reflex. “You’re doing so good for him, Rune,” Addam murmured, and I couldn’t stop the moan that bubbled up from my chest. “So good for both of us. Don’t you think so, Brandon?”

Brand groaned. I made a sound like “Hnng.” Addam’s mouth moved against my jaw. “So good for us,” he said again.

He continued to whisper sweet things against my skin, wondrous things that seemed just as much for Brand’s benefit as for mine, if the way he reacted to them was anything to go by. He dropped his head against my other shoulder and grinded his hips against mine, filling me up more than I could have imagined, more than I thought I could cope with, so full that it took my breath away. Letting my body take his weight, he grabbed my thighs with both hands, pulling them up so he could slip _deeper_ , and — and — oh fuck —

I wasn’t expecting the sudden rush that ran over me, taking my already overwhelmed body and stoking me higher. I clutched at them both with desperate hands as it all hit me at once. “Oh, oh I — _ah.”_ I cried out, my whole body tensing, my chest tight. I heard the wonder in Brand’s voice as he gasped my name, felt the sigh of Addam’s breath against my neck, but then the only thing I was aware of was the pleasure shooting through me, and again, and again.

_Holy shit. Holy fucking shit._

“Fuck.” Brand was gasping when I came back to myself. “I felt… fuck, _Rune._ ”

I was floating, I was weightless, I was… so fucking powerful, but I pulled myself back together when Brand pulled out of me. Before he could move too far, I reached between us, revelling in his gasp when I wrapped my hand around him.

He was slick with lube, and hot and heavy and so hard. Addam pulled out of my grasp, quickly wiping his hand off on the sheets as he sat up beside me. Cupping the back of Brand’s head with firm fingers, he kissed him with that same thorough, filthy determination as they’d kissed before. I jerked him off while Addam kissed him, which made my brain melt just a little bit more. I knew Brand was overwhelmed with it too, because there was a deep flush spreading down his neck and over his chest, and there was nothing in the bond between us but a red hot pleasure that was building and building. In the next breath, Brand was shaking apart above me, his groan barely muffled by Addam’s mouth, his release striping my stomach, his orgasm shocking through me like a mirror of my own.

I don’t know how much time passed. We collapsed together in the middle of my bed, a tangle of tired limbs and sweat-slicked skin. Addam was so languid against my side that I might have thought he had fallen back asleep if not for the way his fingers brushed lightly in the hair at the nape of my neck. Brand was a dead weight on my other side, until he bullied me up on my side so he could curl around me from behind again. I closed my eyes. “Told you I could take it,” I said.

Brand snorted against my shoulder. “I’ll get you a medal. You can hang it right there, above your bed.” But I could tell he was pleased.

“Thanks.”

Addam was the first of us to move, and I whined in protest as he slipped out of my arms. “We’re stickier than I’d like,” he said with a wry smile. “I thought I’d try to find a towel.”

“Don't you have a sigil spell for that?” Brand asked.

Wide-eyed, I turned to stare at him, because _Brand_ was the one protesting someone getting up?

Addam laughed before I could call Brand out on his blatant hypocrisy. “And give you another reason to roll your eyes and call me a spoiled scion?” he said, but his tone was fond as he leaned over me, brushing his fingers on Brand’s cheek as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll just be a moment. And then you can join me in the shower.”

I could feel Brand’s amazement when Addam pulled on a robe and disappeared down the stairs. He felt happy and surprised all wrapped up into one. It was a feeling that I could relate to. “I don’t know how he thinks we’re all going to fit in that shower,” he scoffed.

It was an obvious deflection of the raw emotion I could feel coming from him, but I didn’t press him on it. Instead, I rolled over to face him fully, wrapping myself around him, and just let myself feel how completely and thoroughly happy we both were. Let myself not question the joy on Addam’s face when he came back and joined us again, damp cloth in hand. Let myself exist in this moment because right here, right now, I was as happy as I could ever need.

"Your thoughts are loud," Brand said quietly.

I wanted him to feel all of it. I stretched open the bond between us and felt his usually tense body melt against mine. Reaching up, I cupped Addam's cheek, smiling when he kissed my fingers. "I wish you could feel it too," I told him.

His smile was golden. "I feel it. Trust me, love. I feel it."


End file.
